Critical Race Conspiracy (satire)

Apparently, all white people are a big bunch of racist white supremacists that are so good at being racist white supremacists that they can be racists while being blissfully unaware of their disdain for anyone. This is completely possible and very sciencey.

All of your problems are caused by white no matter how illogical the connection. Flat tire? White people. Bad hair day? White people. Too happy? That’s white people.

Racist whites plot world domination against blacks specifically for no apparent reason. Just funsies. They leave everyone else alone for the most part. Even though having more successful blacks in the country would be fantastic, white people gotta white people…

White peoples are super privileged too. They just sprinkle it on and they can run faster, grow taller and sing louder.

Unfortunately, this isn’t satire. It is the mental Gymnastics that is going on in someone’s head right now.