Thank you note for the gift of Joe Biden (Satire)

laughing black man sitting on bench in park
Photo by Gabby K on

I was overcome with emotion today much like everyone else. When I tucked my kids into bed tonight, I let them know that in America today it really doesn’t matter how smart you are, how qualified you are, how talented you are, or even how hard you work; in Joe Biden’s country there will always be someone waiting and ready to use identity politics to cut in line in front of you. Especially if you are a man willing to uh well … you know. It’s what’s on the outside that counts.

 Now that Joseph Robinette Biden has been officially sworn in as President of the United States, I just wanted to send a little thank you note to all the leftists out there. Joe Biden is my absolute very especially favorite evil dictator of all time. If I had to pick someone that was going to be responsible for the downfall of all humanity, it would totally be Joe. He is an almost cuddly yet weirdly creepy child sniffing gaff machine. I am going to laugh and laugh and laugh my butt off over our time together.

I love watching as he impersonates a poor man’s John Wayne with his speaking mannerisms. Not that long ago Joe was held on a tight leash by Obama, so watch out now world, you thought Trump got unhinged holy majolie you’re going to see something now. Do a quick youtube search and you will find plenty of comedy to entertain your friends for hours. This dude is the only human alive that ever says the words nugga nooch still.

If I could pick one person that I would like to lead my family to starvation through communist policies, it would for sure be Joe Biden.

Joe Biden, you silly bastard, you’re out calling for unity while you and your party make racist comments about how you know for a fact that supposedly BLM protesters would be treated differently. On second thought, holy hell you’re right, they would have gotten away with the capitol siege and no-one would have lifted a finger to stop them. In fact, people who would have opposed a BLM siege of the capitol would have been called to the stake like it’s the damn crucible. You’re out here saying that your top priority is getting minority business owners help first, damn man you really can’t hide your racism even if you tried.

I’m sitting here crying tears of laughter as I watch you pretend to know where you’re at in your surroundings. If I knew how hilarious the apocalypse was going to be, I think we should have done this years ago. Sometimes, I think the left has outdone themselves with nonsensical policies but then you, you sly silly bastard, you go even lower.  So be it four years from now or until Kamala Harris suicides us all, I am going to cherish these moments.

Good luck getting that unity when you have these people in your party calling for Trump supporters to be deprogrammed. Your party says what you and your followers really think. You keep trying to bring unity by making dangerous character assassinations and canceling people’s lives. Way to go!


Your worst nightmare, 75+ million strong and every conservative tonight.

Feeling Salty